What’s that people always say about Messi never diving? Shut the fuck up, turds.
What Burdisso said to Messi
This first appeared on Toblerone Jones.
As your friendly neighborhood vuvuzelist watched Brazil’s latest Copa America game on Univision, the Mexican commentators (including one Hugo Sanchez) made several digressive references, as is their wont, to an alleged conversation between Argentine players Nicolas Burdisso and Lionel Messi that took place after the host nation’s lackluster performances against Bolivia and Colombia, both games having ended in disappointing draws. Burdisso, the commentators suggested, had given La Pulga quite the talking to. The irony of the shit defender telling the two-time Ballon d’Or winner to play better futbol was apparently lost on them. Regardless, it seems to have worked. In Argentina’s final group game Messi seemed to be out of his funk and was the team’s indisputable MVP. This begs the question: what did Burdisso say to Messi? Your friendly neighborhood vuvuzelist humbly submits this theoretical diatribe.