The Surreal Football Magazine #3
As the world has not given us a Pulitzer for the second magazine yet - they claim we haven’t been nominated, we assure them we know a conspiracy when we see it - we had little choice but to cobble together the third magazine. After strenuous bouts of sexual favours, arguments about who was going to deal out the sexual favours, and congratulations for those of us particularly adept at giving sexual favours, the magazine is ready.
You can buy the iOS, hard copy and PDF copy here.
You can buy the UK Kindle version here.
You can buy the US Kindle version here.
You can ‘look forward’ to:
- The making of the magazine. Ever wanted to read the emails Alex and Ethan send each other? Too bad, they’re included.
- Various hacks, such as James Appell, Ollie Irish, Rob Smyth, Jacob Steinberg, Des Kelly, David Hartrick, James Dall and Nick Miller explain their favourite formations. That’s right, proper writers, and we’ve given them the smallest entries compared to the rest of the assembled incompetents featured in the rest of the magazine.
- Incompetents such as Gareth Parker and Bearded Genius, who, apparently, are not husband and husband but just a couple of good friends. Good friends, we’re willing to believe. Good writers? Not on the evidence of their articles for us.
- We also have some famous Americans. The most famous American is, of course, Canadian Richard Whittall, editor of Counter Attack. I’d like to tell you what I think of what he’s written for us, but unfortunately we both need him to keep giving us work.
- There’s also Futfanatico and Travis, who’ve done some words. You know how Dong played for Manchester United to sell shirts? Well, these two are to harvest the less discerning American market. Oh, and Keith Hickey. Who’s he, you ask? Well, we ask it too. If anyone knows, please do let us know.
- There’s a second Gareth. Gareth David of Los Campesinos! I’ve never heard a single one of their records. I’ve also never read anything he’s written. The marvels of copy and paste. I expect he will help us shift copies to the important bad-music-liking demographic. Are they twee or hip hop? No idea.
- Almost proper writers Andi Thomas (Twisted Blood) and Callum Hamilton (Scottish wanker)
- You know Jay In Essex on Twitter? Well, there’s a City version, the Paris Angel. He’s in there too, but he’s not as good as Jay. Make your own mind up by buying three copies of the magazine and reading his article in each copy. If you think he’s worse or better than Jay, please let them know on Twitter. Surreal Football is a broad community, open to your views.
- And Rob Smyth. He can’t say no - we’ve got his kids.
9 Notes/ Hide
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