The Champions League Preview

Group A:

Porto vs. Dinamo Zagreb –

These two battle it out for top-spot. Both unbeaten, there’s nothing between them, but with Porto winning the last time they met in this group, they will be favourites.

Dynamo Kyiv vs. PSG –

Back in September when they first battled it out, nobody cared, but this time, Dynamo are home, so people will care even less and absolutely nobody will watch because it’ll has none of the makings of being a classic and will be the game of the Champions League’s group stage so far, expect a cagey affair with neither teams getting on the score sheet. 4-4.

 

Group B:

Arsenal vs. Montpellier and Schalke vs. Olympiacos –

If Schalke, Olympiacos and Arsenal all win, then Montpellier will top the group. If they all lose however and Montpellier win then Schalke will finish 3rd and Olympiacos finish 2nd meaning that a draw between Arsenal and Montpellier will see all 4 teams go through with only Montpellier, Arsenal and Schalke missing out. However if all teams draw and Arsenal win they’ll secure the Europa League spot with Schalke finishing in 3rd place going through to the Knock-out stages in the Europa League, expect Olympiacos to make a game of it though as they’ll be looking to win third place and secure the final Uefa Cup spot with a 3-3 draw. This group is wide open, but if Schalke and Arsenal both win, they’re both through.

Group C:

Zenit St. Petersburg vs. Malaga –

Undoubtedly the tie of the round. A lunchtime kick off at the Stadion Petrovski where both teams will settle for a draw. By both teams, that means Malaga. To the anger of Zenit fans, this is a must win, and you won’t like them when they’re angry.

Anderlecht vs. AC Milan –

Undoubtedly the tie of the round. Both teams have made impressive starts to this season’s Champions League and Anderlecht’s impressive European home record continued last time out. Milan used to be good. Anderlecht never were. Unmissable.

 

Group D:

Ajax vs. Borussia Dortmund –

Like a dog lying in a corner, they will bite you and never warn you. Look out. They’ll tear your insides out.  Cocaine and Union Jacks, it’s the 90’s.

Manchester City vs. Real Madrid –

In contrast to their opponents, Real Madrid have yet to warm to the Champions League, but with City through expect Real to exploit their complacency.

 

Group E:

Norway vs. Shakhtar Donetsk –

Shakhtar will be as determined to end the last remaining 100% record in the Champions League this season as Norway will look to keep hold of it.

Juventus vs. Chelsea –

Juventus just do not lose. Will Chelsea be the team to finally end the never-ending eternal unbeaten run of the undying ceaseless Italian giants? With both teams scraping victories in the last game week, it’s anyone’s game.

 

Group F:

BATE vs. Lille OSC –

Lille all but secured their place in the Champions League knock out stages with an impressive away performance in Munich last week. It won’t be easy as BATE striker and midfielder are in great form.

Valencia vs. Bayern Munich –

With both teams struggling for goals this will be a closely fought game. Much like the famous final in 2001. However, this time Valencia don’t have super-sub Zlatko Zahovic to bring on. Despite Franck Ribery’s face, Bayern will win.

 

Group G:

Spartak Moscow vs. Barcelona –

Bhoyed by their win last week, Barcelona will look to continue their smash ‘n’ grab routine in Russia. Nevertheless, having looked Group G’s most impressive team so far, Spartak top the group and will expect a plain-sailing routine победа.

Benfica vs. Celtic –

11 normal players playing for Benfica against 11 Brave Warriors. Soldiers. Lions. Heroes. Guerrillas. Celtic will definitely lose.

 

Group H:

Galatasary vs. Manchester United –

A must win game for everyone. Except Man United.

Cluj vs. Braga –

This has European classic written all over it. Indulge yourself in a footballing master class. It’d be Cluj not to. Personally, I don’t have a Cluj who’ll win but I hope there’s some Cluj for food for you to ponder nonetheless.


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