1. Unsubscribing from the spam email lists you’ve found yourself on.
2. Remembering the last hint of hope you got from a girl you’ve lost contact with, Googling her, and finding out you can’t message her without ‘friending’ her on Facebook first.
3. Being horrible about people you’re jealous of behind their backs.
4. Not being sure if you want Marmite or honey on your toast.
5. Having Marmite on toast.
6. Having honey on toast because you made a mistake with the Marmite.
7. Requesting the girl you lost contact with becomes your friend on Facebook.
8. Deleteing your browser history and Facebook account.
9. Alphabetising your photographs.
10. Realising there is no sensible way to alphabetise your photographs, throwing them in the sink and burning them.
11. Wondering how you burned all those photographs when you don’t have any photographs.
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