July 2012
The Surreal Football Magazine #1
We’re ready to go - the formatting is done. If you want a Kindle or iPad version just email us at surrealfootball@gmail.com and we’ll sort you out. Each format will cost £3.
Here’s what’s in it:
A Cesar Menotti tribute from Scott Murray
A Manchester United preview by Rob Smyth
Bearded Genius going off on one about Shinji Kagawa
Andi Thomas (Twisted Blood) on the...
How to act when you're a freelance football...
Tell people you have accreditation
Do you have accreditation to a game of football? Yes? Well, that’s not a great surprise, you are after all a football journalist. You’re probably thinking that you should just go to the game, do the press conference, then write it up in time for the deadline.
No! No! NO!
If you don’t tweet about getting accreditation, how are people meant to...
The Midlands: fucking shit
In some places the way you show mutual regard for other locals is with a quick smile or a cheerful “morning”. Whilst both of those are of course absolutely cringeworthy, they’re better than what the Midlands has. In the Midlands the way you show mutual regard for other locals is by shouting abuse at them as you go past them in the street. It really can be anything; making sense isn’t even an...
American Cycle - How I Killed Duncan Jenkins
Jenkins and I were sipping Finlandia martinis in a hip new bar downtown. I was on my second, but I’d been sure to make sure that Jenkins never had an empty glass. He was now on his fifth, and I’d spiked this one with a couple of valium pills. Slurring by the time he was on his third, he was wearing Oliver Peoples prescription glasses. ’I’m biopic in my right eye, but I need varied vocals in my...
For all your online casino and gambling needs, Spin Palace will provide you with the most exclusive of services. They have been running their online casino successfully for a number of years now. In actual fact they have been established since 2001 and Spin Palace has become one of the most trusted online casinos in the UK, having an unprecedented level of trust and reliance between themselves...
Is the money spent in modern football out of...
Amidst the unprecedented levels of global enthusiasm for football, which innovations like the Premier League and live television coverage have created, one area that continues to concern many observers is the amount of money that clubs now spend. The vast majority of Premier League clubs operate with heavy levels of debt, which increasingly appears to be proving unsustainable for many of them,...
The Premier League's Top Ten Arseholes
This is an extract from the Surreal Football Season Preview ebook which will come out in August. Today is the final day to donate the project on Kickstarter, which is how we’re funding the formatting and some of the time we’ve spent on it - you will also get a copy of the book for your donation. Please go here http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/928168046/surreal-football-volume-1 and...
Control in the workplace
Control in the Workplace: A Rant - Wayne Dean-Richards
Tell me I’m not wrong (he said: manipulatively): the fight for domination within species is a staple feature of wildlife programmes on television? There’s talk of the leader of the pack, the alpha male and more. There’s a range of favoured, well-established phrases, a full lexis in fact. In the animal kingdom the battle for group dominance is...
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A poem for Spain as they celebrate their #EURO2012...
These are the gates of Nineveh: here Sargon came when his wars were won Gazed at the turrets looming clear Boldly etched in the morning sun Down from his chariot Sargon came Tossed his helmet upon the sand Dropped his sword with its blade like flame Stroked his beard with his empty hand “Towers are flaunting their banners red The people greet me with song and mirth But a weird is on...
